Hypochondriac's Survival Guide

     Yes, I am an admitted, recovering (ish), full-on hypochondriac. Well, it's not exactly my fault if I'm constantly sick, and probably suffering from numerous serious diseases that others fail to see. Worried you may have serious health issues? Try taking this screening test to find out if you may suffer from hypochondria.

• Do you suffer from frequent, stabbing headaches?
• After hours on end of looking at WebMD, do you start to hallucinate and/or envision floating thermometers?
• Have you ever taken an advil whilst still in the midst of an REM cycle?
• Is your online screening test count number over that of five a month?
• Do your hands involuntarily shake when first hearing of a newfound disease?
• Have you ever had more than three blood tests a year?
• Does the majority of your iPod contain health podcasts?
• Is your free time spent researching different diseases, "just in case"?
• Have you ever been hung up on whilest trying to have a serious conversation with a friend on the phone, insisting "But this time I know it's real!"?
• Do you think you may have diabetes?
• Do you think you may have skin cancer?
• Do you think you may have anemia?
• Did the staff of your local hospital invite you to last year's christmas party?
• Do you know the names and coffee preferences of all staff members in the ER, Dialyses, Neurology, Surgical, and General Medicine wards?

     If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then, congratulations! You are a hypochondriac. But don't fret: I have some tips to help you through this hard time in your life.

Tip One: Just remember, you can't die from hypochondria... at least you can cross one off your list! (One down, five billion to go).

Tip Two: Family members are always there for support. Unless, of course, they've set aside a special pair of earplugs for when you frantically ask them for another drive to the doc's...

Tip Three: Doctors are your friends. All you need to do is find one who doesn't close their office when he/she sees your car parked outside.

Tip Four: Actually, that's really it. There aren't really any more tips to help you... too bad.

      Well, see you on your deathbed! (Right next to me...)

                                                 Keep posted;

                                                  Jade-Caitlin