Recipe: Holiday Spirit

 

Ingredients

-3/4 cup tinsel shavings

-2 peppermint candycanes, chopped

-1 cup snow, melted

-pinch cocoa powder

-handful fake snow

-3 reindeer hairs

 

Directions

1. In a blender, mix the melted snow, chopped candycanes, and tinsel shavings on "high" setting until consistency is smooth throughout
2. Pour slowly into mixing bowl, dropping in reindeer hairs continuously
3. With a large sized whisk, toss in the cocoa powder and stir until syrupy
4. Put in oven at 0 degrees for twelve days, or until mixture no longer resembles anything
5. Pour into individual mugs (preferably, with patterns of holidaylike themes applied), garnish with fake snow
6. Throw mugs into magical Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa cloud of joy, and bask in holiday spirit

Disclaimer: Do not attempt to actually do this. It is for entertainment purposes only. May have side effects of eggnog head, tinsel mouth, frostbite, bah-humbugitis, or bad sense of style in sweaters.

Have a happy consumerism-free holidays, folks.

Enjoy the boom of greeting card and wrapping paper businesses, and the sentimentality of traditions that no longer apply to modern life.

But really, have a good one.